I have been in a phase of examining my interpersonal relationships these last weeks, considering which ones I’d like to nourish more and which ones I should let go. So, naturally, when I confirmed some plans to meet up with an ex-partner I got thinking about what my relationship with him should look like. We were friends for two years, then a couple for five. After a somewhat disharmonious parting, we didn’t really speak to each other for about a year. We had met twice over the last year, the first time to smooth things over and communicate the appreciation we have for each other, and then months later we caught up over a coffee when he was in town on business.

I found our last visit with each other very dry; I listened with eyes glazed over as he went on and on about what he had been doing since our previous meeting. Although the content of what he was saying was interesting, he wasn’t leaving space for me to engage. It was his typical way of relating; talking incessantly with no awareness that I had reached my capacity of what I could take in. [Read more…]